Hello 2016, I'm free~

I have spent the majority of my life doing what is expected of me: excelling in school, graduating from college with a job lined up, following the rules (well most of them), and overall just being a responsible member of society. I hit the point a few months into my job where I knew I was doing “adulting” the right way: I had a budget, I was putting money into my savings account every month, I was excelling at my job but it all just felt so typical and boring. I found myself feeling the societal pressures of finding a soul mate, saving money so I can comfortably retire, devoting my life to my career, and basing what I should do with my life off of what others expected of me and what they deemed was the responsible way of doing things.

I was existing, but I wasn’t living. I was confined by the walls that I let society build around me. I let them tame me. I’ve realized that none of this was real and my only limit to choosing happiness was myself. In my life, I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve missed, I’ve hurt, I’ve trusted, I’ve made mistakes, but most of all, I’ve learned. I have learned that I am in charge of how I feel, I have this insane calling to be where I’m not, and that I have a need to explore and truly live life.

This is my commitment: to live up to the spirit that is in me, fall head over heels in love with myself, and do everything I have always wanted to do. Maybe this new journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really me, so I can be who I am meant to be in the first place. We were all born to dance to the beat of our own heart; to roam without cages; with the innocence of a child; and the free spirit of untamed horses. 

I’m finally free of the binds I once held within myself, and let me tell ya, it feels good to be lost in the right direction